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Honoring the Memories of a Lifetime

Around The Town Enewsletter

 

Around The Town Enewsletter is published throughout the year by Buch Funeral Home and distributed as a free service to families we have served in the past or those who have subscribed to our Enewsletter.

 

 
 
 

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October 2017

 

Kati Rye Joins Buch Funeral Home as a Funeral Director Intern 

“Memories of a Lifetime” Program Offers Holiday Grief Support

Secondary Losses After Losing A Loved One

Sorting Through Your Loved One’s Belongings

Answers To Common Questions About Cremation

Kati Rye Joins Buch Funeral Home
as a Funeral Director Intern

 

The Buch Family of Funeral Homes is pleased to welcome Kati Rye to the Buch family as a Funeral Director Intern. Over the next year during her internship, Kati will be refining her funeral director skills and assisting with the day-to-day tasks of running a funeral home.

 

Kati is a native of Manheim, PA and graduated from Manheim Central High School. She studied at Harrisburg Area Community College and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. After that, she pursued her mortuary degree at Northampton Community College, Bethlehem where she was a member of Sigma Phi Sigma. Kati graduated this past May and will be a licensed funeral director once she completes her internship in July 2018.

 

When she’s not working at the funeral home, Kati enjoys traveling, hiking, spending time with friends and family, especially her nephew, reading a good book and doing anything adventurous. She has a huge love for animals and has volunteered for the Lancaster Humane League.

 

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“Memories of a Lifetime” Program 
Offers Holiday Grief Support

 

Find Your Holiday Cheer Again After Losing a Loved One

 

If you are suffering from the recent loss of a loved one, the upcoming holidays may no longer seem as festive. Buch Funeral Home wants to help you regain the hope of the holidays, by offering a special program to help you better understand and cope with grief and loss in the midst of the holiday season.

 

This is a free program open to anyone who is dealing with the loss of a loved one. The event is led by Patti Anewalt, from Pathways Center for Grief & Loss, Hospice & Community Care. “Creating Holiday Memories of a Lifetime” will be held on Sunday, November 19, 2017 at 2:00pm at Enck’s Banquet & Conference Center. Reservations can be made by calling Aaron at 665-4341.

 

The Creating Holiday Memories program is presented in a supportive and confidential environment and will include helpful ideas on ways to effectively cope. Presentations by Pathways Center and Buch funeral directors will share ideas that families can use to create their own memorials for loved ones. All participants of the program will receive resource materials on handling grief along with a special thank you gift. Refreshments will also be served.


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Secondary Losses After Losing A Loved One

 

Coping with the loss of a loved one is a difficult experience. This can be compounded the secondary loss of shared activities and life contributions made by those who have died. Often times secondary loses are overlooked but still cause an immense impact on someone who is grieving.  These secondary losses have a ripple effect on loved ones.

 

Secondary losses are encountered over time, rather than all at once. For those who are grieving, these losses began to unfold as you continue on with your everyday life. They can appear in many different forms and affect each person differently.

 

After the death of a loved one, it can be hard to carry on with your daily life. It may seem like every little thing you encounter reminds you of them. It can be hard to vision new memories without that person there. For instance, you may have always attended your favorite baseball team’s opening day or shared an annual vacation to the beach. Or even weekly events such as going dancing or eating at a favorite restaurant. This loss can also affect you in other ways such as the loss of income leading to a negative impact to your financial security. In addition, if they were the one to manage the finances, you could be clueless on when and what bills need to be paid. Depending on the role this person played, you may have to restructure your life to pick up the tasks they use to perform.  When simple things needed fixed around the house they were always there to manage the home repairs, but now you will need to hire a professional. These are common things you grow accustom to and don’t affect you till a major piece is removed from the scenario.

 

There are several heathy ways to cope with secondary losses. One way is to create a special memento to preserve the memory of shared experiences/rituals. This could be by creating a scrapbook that showcases all the precious memories shared with a loved one. You could also find new ways to enjoy your shared interests such as picking up a dance class. As for your financial security, don’t hesitate to reach out to family and friends. You can also seek assistance from professionals for guidance in your financial matters. Additionally, you will need to get help with taking over managing new tasks formerly done by your loved one. This could mean rearranging your daily schedule to include new tasks or hiring a handy man. Family and friends will be your biggest support system and will help to guide you through managing secondary losses.

 

It is also very important to take care of yourself. Each person grieves differently and there are many resources available to help. With the support of trusted family, friends and grief professionals, everyone can find a healthy grieving method to fit their needs. 


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Sorting Through Your Loved One’s Belongings

 

Losing a loved one is never easy. When you’re grieving this loss while trying to move forward without this person, you’re often left with little energy or emotional capability for much more. Unfortunately there are items that need to be taken care of after the funeral occurs. One of these tasks is sorting through your loved one’s belongings. Physically, this is no small job and emotionally, it will take a toll because of all the memories you will be confronted with and feelings of guilt, frustration, and sadness at having to part with more of this person. So what is the best way to navigate this task?

 

The first step is to make a game plan. Writing out your plan of attack can help make the job easier. You need to decide if you will go room by room, floor-by-floor, or will you tackle it in groups of items such as clothing first, books second, furniture third, etc.? By writing out your plan you will stay on track. Plus the sense of accomplishment each time you check off an item from your list will keep you going.

 

The other part of your game plan should be how you’re going to break items into the Keep, Donate, Family Requests, and Trash categories. Make sure you talk with other family members before starting the clean out process so you know ahead of time what items they wish to have. This will save a large headache later on. It is also important to give yourself a limit on how much you are willing to take into your own home. Setting this limit will help you avoid piling 20 boxes of items in your garage that you don’t have room for.

 

After your game plan is set, you should think about help from others to get through the process. First, consider how much help you want and then think about what type of help you want. Some prefer to sort through possessions by themselves while others need a support system. Sometimes it helps to have others there to share in your grief plus they can help you part with items that are too difficult to get rid of on your own. They can be your voice of reason as well as a shoulder to cry on. Another option for those who don’t have the time or the emotional capacity to go through all of these possessions, is hiring a professional organizer who will go through the items for you.

 

Developing a timeline can also be helpful. How much time do you have to sort through all the belongings?  Deciding on your timeline can then help you determine how long you think you can work each day before you become overwhelmed or too exhausted to be productive. If you know that emotionally you can’t spend more than 3 hours a day sorting through items then set your alarm at the start of each clean out session so you don’t overdo it.

 

The last piece of advice is to go into this process having decided you won’t feel guilt over the decisions you make. Deciding to donate or throw away certain items is not throwing away your loved one. You have the memories of them and the time you shared which is far more important than the physical object. Making it through the sorting process is one more step towards helping you get to a place where you can enjoy the memories you have.


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Answers To Common Questions About Cremation

 

Cremation is becoming increasingly more common and has even surpassed burial rates in some states. According to the National Funeral Director Association, in 2015 over 44% of people in Pennsylvania chose to have their remains cremated. In the entire United States, 49% chose to be cremated. When considering the option of cremation, some questions come to mind.

 

If I choose cremation, does that mean I cannot have a funeral or memorial service?

Unlike what you may have heard – choosing cremation still allows for a funeral or memorial service. Grief experts state that most families are better able to cope with the reality of the loss, when they have a time to view the body and say their final goodbyes. Traditional or contemporary services can be arranged before the cremation to allow loved ones to “say goodbye.” In addition, services can be arranged after the cremation process to honor your loved one.

 

What can I do with the cremated remains?

With cremation, there are a wide array of options to honor the memory of a loved one.  Many people choose to place the cremated remains in an urn, which can be buried, placed in a columbarium or kept at home. The cremated remains can also be divided into several urns for multiple family members. Other people choose to spread the remains in a location(s) that hold a special significance. One option that is gaining popularity is to place the cremated remains in cremation jewelry or glass.

 

Are there regulations on where I can scatter the cremated remains?

The scattering of cremated remains can take place on private property, on public lands, in a cemetery, in a body or water, or even shot into the air in a fireworks display. It is important to remember that there are certain local or state laws that govern to the scattering of remains. Make sure to abide by them on both public and private land.

 

What is the impact of scattering cremated remains?

Cremated remains can be scattered a number of ways. Some families choose to only scatter a partial amount of the remains and have the rest buried or inurned in a cemetery, while others choose to scatter the cremated remains at one or several different locations. The locations chosen are often tied to a significant memory of that loved one and help to keep their memory alive. It is important to remember that when opting to scatter all of the cremated remains, this negates the ability to have a permanent marker, where others can visit and reflect. To fill the need for a permanent marker, a visitation location can be created by setting a plaque at the scattering site or having a memorial garden.

 

What do I need to do if I have to transport remains by a commercial airplane?

When travelling by air, TSA has specific restrictions about flying with cremated remains. TSA allows the escort of cremated remains. However, there are some airlines who do not allow cremated remains in checked bags, so it important to check with your airline about possible restrictions. TSA suggests placing the remains in containers that are easily scanned by XRAY, such as wood or plastic. If TSA officers cannot clearly see what is in the container, the container will not be allowed to be transported. Out of the respect for the deceased, screeners will not open a container.

 

If you have further questions about cremation, please contact the Buch Family of Funeral.


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